Writing on the heels of my iOS7 review, I feel like I have to be on my toes all the time when it comes to writing about Apple and its products. I know a lot of you fanboys – some are my close friends and others whom I met online – and I know it’s difficult for you to swallow that even Apple isn’t perfect (can you say Map snafu anyone?). But as much as Apple is noted for its innovation and progressiveness, it is also [being] noted [by moi] for lacking some basic and common elements, where in this case it is noted in its web presence.

Take for example, finding a way to download Safari.

At my full-time gig, I just recently got a new desktop about a month or so ago and as usual, only Internet Explorer is installed (why a desktop instead of a laptop I can only imagine. Don’t get me started). I had to have my other browsers available, so I downloaded Firefox, Chrome, Opera (for fun), and Safari. That is to say, I tried to download Safari through their site. But before I divulge on my online road rage behavior on Apple’s cobblestone roads, let me show you what madness I went through just to download that stupid browser.

  1. Using the search function on Apple.com, I typed in Safari, where one of the results took me to “apple.com/safari.” There, I was very relieved to find a download button for the browser. NOT!
    • Did I find a download button above the fold? No.
    • Did I find a download button at all? No.
    • What did I find? Handful of crappity crap and developer “features” that took me to their own Star Trek-coded page where no download button has ever gone before.
  2. Trying not to give up, I searched again on their search fields and found “apple.com/downloads.” I had to scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to find some resemblance of a Safari download, only to take me to a Safari extensions page than a download page. Thankfully, I found a download link from that page. That download link…
  3. TOOK ME BACK TO “apple.com/safari” (see #1)

Um, squeeze me? Baking powder?

Let me get this straight, Apple. I’m trying to get your products, but this runaround from you is hindering our relationship. I want to break up with you, but I know that sometimes, you’re actually worth something. Sadly, these are one of those times where I want to quote Nacho Libre and say “I want to be like [Apple]. Turns out, [they’re] a real…”

A download link to your browser shouldn’t be too difficult to have on your page, even if it’s not above the fold (although it should – shame on you for not having best practices). Why on God’s green earth would you showcase your features and all that crap when your users can’t even install that browser and those features in their computer?

What is a dude to do? Losing my cool and really unleashing my online California driver in me, I bagged Apple’s site and went straight to their competitor, Google, for the answers. BTW Apple, searching Google for a download link on your site isn’t the best way to get people to your products, don’t you think?

Needless to say, I eventually found what I was looking for, thanks to the almighty Google.